Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Someone signed my nipple.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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