is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
