so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize