she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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