I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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