just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
