all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
