She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
