I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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