I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
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Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
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And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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