If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
be right there i have to get my cape
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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