Cold hands, warm shart.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
