you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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