She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
