Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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