We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
