i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
