i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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