Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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