you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize