perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
