that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
