I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
