it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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