Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
