hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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