After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
