someone get that fucking seahorse.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
