Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
