i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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