At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just fell off a train. Bad.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
