Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
