you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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