I am in a vortex of obligation.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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