my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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