Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize