Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
third nipple confirmed
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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