My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
you never un-have a 4some
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
