It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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