I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
