So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
