Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
jump out the window naked night went bad
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
