I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
