can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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