you would pick up someone in the library
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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