Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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