We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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