he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
