weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
