Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize