Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
