About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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