just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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