My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
