So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
