ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
