Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize