just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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