Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
